Monkey Mind

A lot of different signs have been encouraging me to meditate regularly, so I've been trying to do it first thing in the morning. With apologies to Liz Gilbert, here's what it went like this morning:
Me: "Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "Wow, it's really nice out here."
Me: "Yes, it is. Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "I wonder how hot it's going to get."
Me: "I don't know. Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "Are you worried about your appointment this morning?"
Me: "A little, but I'm trying to focus on my breath. I'll think about it later."
Brain: "ok"
Brain: "Did you open your brother's email?"
Me: "No, I didn't want to be distracted by it yet. Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "You know it's going to annoy you."
Me: "I'm really trying to concentrate."
Brain: "Ok, sorry."
Me: "Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "I'm really sorry."
Me: "It's ok. Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "Can I stay with you?"
Me: "Of course, you just need to stay quiet. Do you think you can?"
Brain (childishly petulant): "I suppose."
Me: "Breath in, breath out."
Brain: "I'm bored. I can think of something we should think about!"
Me: "You can do that in a few minutes. Right now, we're just going to think about our breath."
Brain: "Ok"
Brain: "When are we going to be done?"